They say as millenials we’re the most self-absorbed generation, but I beg to differ. From what I’ve seen with my group of friends and the online scene I’m pretty entangled within, we seem to be the generation that is the hardest on ourselves. We’re the generation of change and technology, and with constant access to everyone else’s life it’s so easy to fall into a slump about how we feel about ourselves. Not to mention, the simple concept of self-care isn’t actually taught or highlighted.
But don’t fret, I’ve got you covered if you need a quick crash course on being better yourself. But you’ve got to trust yourself (and you’ve got to stick to it)!
Make the commitment
Not to me. To yourself. This is where you adjust your bra straps and take control of your happiness, your peace, and your self-worth. How? Just do it. Say it out loud. Write it out. Tell your best-friend. Or if you’re into the dramatics like I am, you can do the following:
Stand in front of your mirror and repeat after me:
I, (insert name), will be overwhelmingly and unwaveringly good to myself. Why? Because I f@#$%&# deserve it!
(Okay, don’t curse but say it like you mean it!)
Accept yourself. Crooked Smile, Jiggly Bits, & All.
The first part to this commitment to yourself is to let go of perfectionism and all that comes with it. Perfect is not real. Or it is, but it’s never actually achieved by anyone. Or, it’s in the eye of beholder. Or, it’s exactly what I stated the first time, not real. It’s time you come to terms with being magically made exactly the way you are. You, my pretty, are made this way for a reason. Flaws, imperfections, and all. But before we move on, I must add this; your flaws are what make you the ultimate chef-d’oeuvre.
(I’m not hitting on you, I promise!)
Muzzle the inner bully
Yes, your inner bully. We’re getting rid of that brat for good. We’ve never liked her to begin with, so why are we allowing her to live rent free in your mind? Exactly.
So it’s time to reverse those negative thoughts! Grab a pen and paper, (or a mobile device, if you’re fancy) and write down your most self-deprecating thoughts. Once you’ve got them out of your system, reverse them! Turn them into positive and kind statements about yourself. Whenever you think of those negative thoughts, remember you moved that bully out to make space for your inner-cheerleader. And your inner cheerleader would never speak badly about you.
(Your inner cheerleader also looks and sounds a lot like me. Just kidding!)
If You Don’t Like It, Change It.
Now that you’ve learned to accept yourself as is, and master the art of positive self-talk, you can now make changes and work on goals that compliment how awesome you are already! I’m not saying to go out and buy a new body, but if you think you should move towards a healthier lifestyle, or maybe change career paths to something that better suits your passions, go for it! You should always find new ways to better yourself, but remember to keep it positive. Never make changes out of lack or insecurity. Make changes to better your well-being. Make changes that nourish and encourage your personal growth.
(Notice that I said healthier lifestyle. We do not fat shame here. Your inner bully is now homeless. Leave her there.)
Be selfish with you
Last but not least, be selfish with you. Your time, your space, your happiness. Be selfish with ALL of it. You have the right to protect what is yours. And your happiness? Your pretty, sparkly joy adorned with a cherry on top? That’s only for you to touch. So if anything comes your way that makes you feel anything less than amazing, it doesn’t deserve your time and presence. People included. This is a no negative nonsense zone, and folks that come along with destructive energy shall be immediately eradicated.
(Okay not really, but you get the point. We don’t want ‘em here!)
Remember lady, you made the commitment to be good to you and with that comes the responsibility of protecting your peace. It’s not completely selfish when the motive is genuine self-care.
Good Luck (and kick ass!)